What To Do When You're Not Happy

You know that feeling…….

That one where you have no bloody clue where you’re going or what you’re doing

Is That A Real Smile or a Fake?

This time of year can trigger lots of these feelings

Even if you’re settled at work or in your business

If you’re settled in your relationship

If you’re settled with your family

You’re meant to be happy at this time of year right?

It’s uncomfortable to not know where you are going

It’s much easier to stay exactly where you are

Even if it makes you unhappy

Have you ever done this?

If you said "no" then I know you’re lying

So what do you do?

Stay exactly where you are?

Or make yourself feel uncomfortable

Did you know that 95% of the population will stay exactly where they are

Their whole lives

And when it comes to them being on their deathbed

They will pass on full of regrets

I lost my best friend this year, she was 57 and she was affected by the bombings in Sri Lanka

I met up with a mutual friend of ours yesterday

I love this guy, he’s an absolute angel and one of those people you fully want in your corner in life

And I’m so lucky he’s in my corner

We started speaking about our amazing friend we lost this year

And we started laughing

She was one of those rare souls that when she rang you and asked you to go out

You took a deep breath

Not because you didn’t want to go

But because you knew you’d be up for the most amazing adventure!

She spoke to literally everyone she met

She’d speak to princes, she’d speak to celebrities, and she’d speak to waiters

She never cared “what” someone did

She never even asked them

She only cared about if they were happy

And if they weren’t happy she’d be helping them to figure out what they wanted instead

At her funeral which was packed to the rafters her son spoke

He told us that once she’d met a guy on a plane who was at university studying

She then spent 8 hours talking to him and helping him to figure out his future

So much so that when he was leaving the plane he gave her his card and invited her over to his family home for dinner that night

They said goodbye and as he got off the plane he stepped onto a red carpet and got into a Mercedes which she thought was weird

But thought nothing more of it

She got herself settled in to her hotel and she was wearing her 3 quarter length white linen trousers on and a vest (because she was always “bloody boiling”)

Then she called a taxi and went to the man’s house for dinner with his family

The taxi turned into an enormous driveway and continued up to it

The taxi driver told her that she’d arrived

She then got out and thought she must be at the wrong place

The front door opened and she saw in the house

There was a huge party happening inside

Everyone had amazing clothes on and there she was with her white Capri trousers and vest on!

She was mortified so started to make her excuses and started leaving

Then the man she’d met on the plane saw her and shouted for her to come in

So she didn’t want to be rude so she turned around

She found out that night that this man she’d met that was at university that she’d met on the plane was only a prince!

This story wasn’t unique

She was literally packed full of fun stories of adventures, mishaps, challenges and things that you could only dream of doing

As we were laughing about all of her adventures yesterday my friend said “She kicked the arse out of life and didn’t just take up room on the planet”.

She was 57 when she died

But she lived a life full of possibilities, full of change and full of adventure

She lived her life 5 times over

So how about you?

What are you doing with your life?

Do you have a plan?

A path?

A purpose?

Do you get up every day thinking “yep, I’m gonna kick the arse out of today”?

Are you one of the 5% that actually WILL do something?

That won’t just talk about it

What when you die (because you will) you will only have fond memories?

Will you have people around you that you love?

Will you have left a legacy for others to follow you?

Or will you just drift away without leaving so much as a mark?

So, the very first thing you need to do is decide

Am I happy?

Not all day every day, but every day you are happy to some extent?

Happy in your work?

Happy in your relationships?

Happy in your giving back?

And if you can’t genuinely say yes to be happy “most” of the time then you need to make some changes

Not only for you, but those around you

Did you know if you’re not happy then the chances are that those around you aren’t either?

The second thing you need to do is decide what will make you happy?

What will make you live an extraordinary life?

What will make you kick the arse out of your life?

Start by getting a notepad out or flipchart paper out – A4 or bigger is best

And draw or write what your perfect day looks like…..

What time would you get up?

What time would you go to bed?

Who would be there with you?

What would you be doing?

Just start writing or drawing

Don’t think about it too much

Just see what comes out on paper

Thirdly, find support

Find people around you that always encourage you no matter what

Find people that love you for you

Find people that will support, guide and mentor you through your life

Find someone who’s already done what you want to do

And speak to them

Remember my friend speaking to that guy on the plane

He turned out to be a prince

You literally never know who might be sat next to you right now

Who is that person you see every day who you never speak to?

What about when you’re travelling around or shopping

How do you speak to people?

Go find that one person you admire and find out HOW they’ve done what they have done

And if you’re feeling brave contact them and ask them!

My purpose is to absolutely kick the arse out of my life. To not be here just taking up room

What are you going to do to kick the life out of yours?

Nik x

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